Hi Baby Jax,
It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything for you. I really haven’t been in the mood to write, I’m sorry. (And you didn’t like to sleep much, so I have a perfectly good excuse.) You are a complete Momma’s boy that constantly wants to be held… But that’s okay.
So, let me just tell you the story of how you arrived to us on earth. Following the last few months of doctor’s appointments, your Momma’s blood pressure started getting really high. The doctor told me at one of the last appointments that I would have to stop working immediately because my blood pressure would not go down. He began to worry that you would stop growing in my belly because of it. So, I did what any chunky pregnant lady does, I started nesting and getting everything ready for you at home. Your daddy built all of your new furniture, and I got your room organized and your millions of baby clothes washed. At the final check-up, we got to see you on an ultrasound to make sure that you were growing alright. You were 6 pounds and 10 ounces, and you were perfectly healthy. But once again, my blood pressure was up, so this time, Momma’s doctor didn’t have any hesitations. He told us that we were going to schedule a c-section for the following day, which was August 18, 2016. I couldn’t believe it! You were finally going to be here, in our arms! And wow, was I so nervous. I was not expecting to have you so soon! August 17th would be my last day of freedom without children…FOREVER. I should have planned a party… Just kidding. I will spare you all of the gruesome details of the surgery, but oh my goodness when they lifted you over that curtain and you screamed at us for the first time, I thought my heart was going to burst. I cried and cried. I had been dreaming of meeting you for nine whole months and wondering what you would look like. And let me tell you, little man, you are just absolutely perfect! Your Mommy and Daddy both cried. (Don’t let Daddy tell you any different when you get older. He isn’t as tough as he looks.)
They took you away from us after you were born because your body temperature was way down from where it should be. I just wanted to hold you, and I cried when they took you away. When they wheeled me back to the recovery room, your Nana, Mamaw and Papaw, Daddy, Aunt Jacy, and Alaina were all standing around you laughing. You were all sprawled out under the heat lamp with your hands behind your head just chilling and getting yourself a new baby tan. Haha. Cutest thing any of us had ever seen.
After a few days in the hospital, we got to go home. I was a completely overprotective, lunatic over you and barely let anyone hold you, even your Daddy. The first couple of weeks were so hard. Your formula was making you sick and you had awful acid reflux. It was hard for you to lie flat in your bassinet. I just held you in my arms most of the time to let you sleep. (Just remember this when I’m older and in a nursing home okay? You owe me, kid.) I also thought your Daddy was going to want to sleep on the couch for the remainder of our lives after having to deal with me being so crazy. (You’ll find this out the hard way one day when your wife has a baby.) But let me also tell you, your Daddy has more patience and kindness than any person I have ever met. You got pretty darn lucky having him as your father.
Being a new mother is a stressful, crazy, tiresome, and seemingly uphill battle. But oh wow, it is so worth all of those sleepless nights. All you had to do was look at me with your big blue eyes, and I melted into a sobbing mess. I would do anything for you. Anything. And so will your Daddy. Many nights while Daddy was working, I just stared at you and uncontrollably sobbed. For hours. Thinking thoughts like: How did I make such a beautiful person? Such a strong, healthy, and amazing little person? How can this little human look just like me? And act like me already?
Jaxon, if there is one thing that you take from all of this, I hope you know just how much joy you have brought to our lives. You have truly showed me the meaning of love, and given me so much more strength not only as a wife, but as a mother.
Thank you for being my biggest blessing in this life. You are my heart and soul, sweet boy. Everything I do, I do for you.