I won’t lie, when I found out that I was having another baby only six weeks after having my first, I cried… A LOT. I felt that my son would be robbed of attention from me. I also felt that I was surely to become a crazy person with two, tiny gremlins only eleven months apart. I was already an overprotective lunatic with my son. Would I be worse with a second baby? Or would it be much easier? I prayed day and night for another boy. Boys were easy. My son only cried when he was hungry. He started sleeping all night after only seven weeks. He was just so chill. Like more chill than Willie Nelson’s tour bus could ever be. I wanted another chill baby boy more than anything in this world. My friends that had baby girls never got sleep. And their little diva’s always cried. And yet, despite all of that praying for a boy, I got that rotten, little sassy girl that I had nightmares about. And guess what else? She is a spitting image of her father. Go figure, right? I carry this Little Miss for almost nine months, and she looks identical to my husband.
The birth. This is my favorite… With my first born, I hated that the doctors and nurses were all up in my business and always saw me naked after my c-section. I was super uncomfortable about having to show my flabby, weird post-pregnancy body to these strangers. Well, with the second baby, I might as well have laid in that hospital bed stark naked. I had no worries. After the first one, you just realize that an obnoxious amount of people will barge into your hospital room: While you’re peeing… Walking around in those sexy, mesh hospital panties… While you’re breastfeeding… While you’re changing the most gigantic, blue whale-sized maxi pad that you will ever have to wear in your life… While you’re changing clothes… While you’re trying to sleep… It never stops. So just stop trying to cover up or hide in the bathroom, ladies. Throw that modesty towel down on the floor.
Everyday life. The second baby is very much loved, that’s not my point here. The second baby is just so much easier... You don’t handle them like they are glass and breakable. You aren’t afraid to give them a bath or trim their nails. And you can suction out that baby nose like a BOSS. You don’t buy them brand new clothes because you already know they will just puke and poop all over said new clothes. You hit up Facebook yard sale sites and garage sales for that little poop monster’s clothes. And the best part? You don’t feel bad about it because you know how much money was wasted on new clothes for the first born. They were all permanently stained or thrown away from babies just being, you know, gross babies. You know I’m right.
The cutesie nursery is a no-go. Maybe I’m a terrible mother, but the second baby didn’t get a cutesie, Instagram-picture-worthy nursery. She didn’t get a bassinet. She got a pack-n-play and some cute pink and purple owl sheets. And again, it’s not that we don’t love her and spoil her like our first born, we just realized what baby items are essential and which ones are a complete waste of money. The first born only slept in his expensive, brand new bassinet for all of two days… So we weren’t about to purchase another one. And all of the babies just end up sleeping in our room anyways, so there is no need for ridiculous nursery decor. Sorry Etsy, you didn’t trap me this time.
Germs. Okay, I will admit, I was a complete freak over germs, boogers, and all that jazz with my first born. With the second born, it’s different. I mean, I still make people wash their hands before they hold her, and I don’t let strangers touch my child, but the every day germs don’t really gross me out any more. Like, I will dig my finger in my kid’s nose and wipe a baby booger on a burp cloth if it’s closer than a tissue. It will wash out, right?
So, let’s be honest here, we definitely aren’t as paranoid as we were as first time mothers. Right? I mean, obviously they are still a blessing and you love them more than you could have ever thought possible, but you just don’t worry as much with this baby. You don’t lose sleep and check on them 3,294 times during the night. Maybe two or five times max. As an “experienced” mother, you don’t sweat the small sh*t anymore. For example, if the first born had a diaper rash, it might have warranted a trip to the doctor if it lasted more than two days. If the second born has a two-day old diaper rash, you’ll just add some extra cornstarch and move on with your day. First born has a tummy ache, you lose more sleep and can’t figure out what’s wrong. Second born has one, well, you chalk it up to gas and give her some gripe water, get her to fart, and all is well.
PSA to all the first time Mama’s: Get that baby to fart and get some rest, momma. It’s just gas, and she will be just fine. No, it’s not colic after all. Don’t spend that money on a co-pay to see the doctor. And trust me when I say this, you will be an expert by the time baby number two comes around, trust me.