The “C” Word

C-section. To many of you, this word is what nightmares are made of. “Oh no! I’m going to have a SCAR.” *Gasp* A scar? Seriously? Are you freaking kidding me?! That’s what you are concerned about? How about you worry about getting that CHILD out of your body safely… Mmkay? 

How selfish and dumb is that, right?  I’ve never understood the soon-to-be mothers that cared more about a stupid scar than the safest way for their child to enter this world. Yes. You will get stretch marks. (Some of you, like my sister, will not, but you are all just freaks of nature) And yes. You will have a huge, ugly scar from your surgery. But guess what? It’s totally worth all of it.

When my doctor told me that I would have to have a cesarean, do you want to know what my very first thought was? It was this: “I hope my baby is okay.”  And then I prayed. For both of us. For both of us to stay healthy and strong. Not once did it even cross my mind that I would have a scar. Nor did I care. All I knew was that soon I would have a wonderful, little gift from God to spend my life loving, teaching, holding, and cherishing. And that’s all that mattered in that moment.

Was I scared to have surgery? Of course.  I have never had surgery in my life. But being a mother means putting on your “brave face” at all times. Being a mother means keeping it together for your family and staying strong so that your children can become what they see every day. Being a mother means caring very little about yourself and putting everyone’s needs before your own. That moment that you get that plus sign on your pregnancy test, is the moment that it’s not just about “you” anymore.

My c-section was scheduled. I went in at 4:30 a.m. and was holding a healthy, baby boy at 8:04 a.m.  The only pain I even felt was the stick of the needle from my IV, and the stick of the numbing shot before my spinal tap. That’s it. No seventy-five hour labor. No pushing. No pain. If having a baby is always that easy, I want to have a village of them. Kidding. My husband and I want two to three more children. And a couple of dogs. On a farm. (Well, I want a farm. He’ll just have to agree with me and get over it)

The absolute worst part about a c-section was the healing process. Oh wow, did it hurt. Every time your sweet baby cries, and you have to lift your tired, aching body out of the bed, the pain is atrocious. You don’t realize how much you use that part of your body daily. My internal sutures made it feel like someone was constantly stabbing me in the abdomen with knives. My belly jiggled like Santa’s jelly belly. Most of the time, even the pain medicine wouldn’t help the pain. But you fight through it. You walk. And walk. And walk. And you scream. And hold your stomach. And cry. You can’t even tell when you have to pee. Everything is just numb. But you learn to just deal with it. Thankfully, my loving husband helped me dress and shower for weeks. And my sister was there to help me with Jaxon.

In the end, it took about nine weeks before I started to feel like myself again. Nine weeks of mood swings, crazy obsessive behavior, and pain. Two of those weeks, you’ll be so constipated and miserable.  You’ll drink Miralax like it’s coffee . And then you give birth again. That first bowel movement, oh wow… No one ever warns you about that… {Insert horror film slasher music}

Before I was pregnant, I was terrified of the labor and delivery part of pregnancy. I asked every one of my friends who had had children how awful the pain was. And they all responded the same, “It’s the most painful thing you will ever go through in your life. But you forget the pain once the baby is here.”  I couldn’t agree with this more. I am now almost three months post-partum, and I miss my pregnant belly. I miss those first moments of welcoming new life into the world.  The happy tears my husband and I shed when they first held our screaming Jax over the curtain. I miss every bit of it. But I am so blessed and grateful to finally have little man here.

If I can say one thing to pregnant mothers out there that have to get the “c word” it’s this:

It’s really not that bad. You’ll have a scar. Get over it. Your stomach will never be the same, unless of course you’re a Kardashian and have surgery to tuck in all the mommy flab. Yours and your baby’s health should be your main concern. Period. And once you see that smiling little human that looks just like you, it’s all worth it. Every single, last bit of it.


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One thought on “The “C” Word

  1. I’ve been through both ways of delivery. I had a complicated vaginal delivery that left me with 2 post partum surgeries. I actually opted for a c-section with baby # 2 ( even though I was 9 cm when I got to the OR… 4 days before my scheduled c-section) Considering what I went through with # 1, I’d do a c-section a million times over. 🙂

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