Little Boys and Their Mommas

I’ll be totally honest with you, I wanted a baby girl.  My sister had my niece a year before I found out I was expecting, and I was instantly wrapped around Alaina’s little finger. My sister dressed her up in adorable tu-tus with matching bows. She had everything pink, glittery, and frilly. I just knew that I wanted a sweet girl more than anything.  
In December of 2015, after the holidays, I went to visit my sister and niece in Clarksville.  I was laughing with my sister and telling her how my pants didn’t fit after the holidays, so I was vowing to wear leggings until spring. I also told her that I hadn’t been feeling like myself. I was overtired, nauseated, and constantly out of breath. She urged me to take a pregnancy test. I looked at her like she was a crazy person. I had been on birth control and took the pill at the same time every day. But sure enough, both of the tests instantly turned positive. What. The. Hell. 

So many thoughts race through your mind when you become pregnant:  Why now? How far along am I, and is he or she healthy? What will I tell my other half? Will they hate me for this because the timing is terrible? Will I have a boy or a girl? How much is my life going to change? 

I’ll never forget the feeling that I got when the ultrasound technician told me I was having a boy. It was a mixture of excitement/fear/anxiety. A boy?! I had never been around boys much. Even in my younger days, as a nanny, the only diapers I changed were those of little girls’. I had a niece and an entire family full of girls. A little boy?! No way. Boys were a completely different world for me… I wasn’t sure I was ready.

Fast forward to the moment they placed Jaxon in my arms. I was so overwhelmed with love. A love that I never knew even existed. This precious, little boy looked up at me, and I cracked into a million pieces. He had my nose.  My eyes. My everything. Even his toes were just like mine. 

To this day, I think I kiss my son 745 times a day. He is almost three months old, and he is just this incredible person. He is so funny. He loves to talk. He greets me with smiles every morning when I peer over at him. He even laughed for his Daddy this morning for the first time. It was the cutest sound I have ever heard in my entire life. His Daddy was so proud and had tears in his eyes. He works twelve hour shifts and commutes almost two hours to work so he misses a lot. He was so happy to have witnessed this moment and that his goofiness caused our baby boy to laugh. And of course, I cried. 

The truth is, I love my son. More than words could ever describe. And I know that his Daddy resonates those feelings as well. Now that he is here, I cannot even imagine being a “girl mom.”  Being a boy mom is absolutely amazing. Little boys and their mommas share such an incredible bond. Bring on the dirt, the mud, the outdoors, blue and yellow everything, and the world that comes with being parents of little boys. We are more than ready. 

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