Jaxon Alan… It’s perfect, and that’s what your name will be. No more unrecognizable, unnamed, Gummi Bear-looking “baby creature” in my belly. You actually have a name now, and you look like a real baby! You will never understand the weirdness of having an ultrasound at eight weeks pregnant and your baby looks like a baked potato. However, someday, when your wife does, this image will alarm you. Be warned. So actually getting to see a baby that looks like a baby, is such a breath of fresh air. (Your face still looks like an alien though, a cute alien, but an alien, nonetheless.) Just being honest.
Your name means so many different things to me. First, the name Jaxon directly translates to, “God has been gracious; He shows favor.” (Truer words have never been spoken in my opinion.) Lastly, your middle name; I just love it. Your Papaw Chuck’s middle name is Alan, and well, since I’m named after him, I want you to have his middle name. He is beyond excited to meet you. He has already been making plans of strapping you onto his back to take you in the woods and go hunting. You’re the first boy in our little family, so Papaw is pretty ecstatic to trade in Barbie dolls for guns for once.
I won’t lie to you, Jax, I’ve been calling you Scarlett since the day I found out about you, back in December. The gender predictors, wives tales, the Chinese calendar, all of it, said that you were going to be a girl. I was convinced that you were and most of my family and friends were as well. I’d been planning to take the rest of your Cousin Alaina’s clothes and hair bows that your Aunt Jacy didn’t use anymore. The five month ultrasound had me in complete shock today. The ultrasound tech called it a “baby turtle” when she found your male parts. Hahaha. This is on the Internet now, so you might develop a nickname before you even get here.
I was so excited to see you today…. I didn’t sleep at all last night (probably all of three hours) because I knew that I would get to find out if you were a boy or a girl today. The day started off rough with not having enough sleep, but after only a few hours at work, I was off to the doctor’s office. Your daddy met us there too. He is amazing and so supportive… And he loves you very much. He will teach you all of the “man stuff” that I can’t. (He thought you were going to be a girl, too.)
Our ultrasound technician is my favorite, and she kept us very entertained for the hour that we got to see you. We were walking back into the office, and I was so excited to see you that I kept going into the wrong room. She said, “Girl, you’ve got a bad case of pregnancy brain. I said the LAST door on the LEFT.” Well, three failed attempts later, we were finally in the room. As soon as she put the ultrasound gear on my belly, she said, “Oh, well do you know what that is?” Not even two minutes in to the ultrasound, you had your little legs spread and your “baby turtle” showing. It was as if you were saying, “See Momma, you can stop calling me Scarlett now… I’m a BOY!” I was in complete shock. In a good way though… It was such an amazing surprise. Especially when she started measuring your tiny bones, letting us hear the heart beat, and showing us how strong and healthy you were. I was glowing and smiling ear-to-ear! The sound of your heartbeat is better than any song I’ve ever heard. It’s such a perfect feeling knowing that a little miracle is growing inside of me each day. And then… the emotions hit. I looked at my, ultrasound tech with tears in my eyes and said, “I have no experience with diapers and boys… He’s going to pee on me isn’t he?” She said, “Yes he will. My son has peed on me many times.”
Jax, please don’t pee on me okay? Or I will show all of your girlfriends your “baby turtle” ultrasound picture. You see how that works? I’m your mother, and I can do that. So just take it easy on me in the next few years, and I promise to keep the baby turtle picture locked in a box somewhere safe. But you should know, it’s always going to be there as my ammunition when you get sassy or try to grow up too fast.
My phone has been blowing up all day with messages and phone calls. No one expected you to be a boy, but they are all super excited and ready to meet you. I hope you know how loved you are. I cannot wait to teach you how to play guitar, fish, ride dirt bikes, write songs, and so much more! I hope you are ready for our life together, Jaxon Alan. I know I am. Today marked the day in which I have never felt a love so strong in my entire life. You are absolutely incredible in every way, my perfect son.
A few weeks ago, my doctor found some abnormal cells that need to be monitored so that cancer cells don’t develop. He referred to it as “pre-cancer cells.” Thankfully, we found it early, and we can treat it so that you will arrive safely, and so that I will be here for a long time to watch you grow up. I want to thank you for that, by the way, Jaxon. If it wasn’t for your existence, I would still be smoking cigarettes daily, and I never would have found this “pre-cancer.” You see, when I previously told you that I never went to the doctor, I meant it. I believe in home remedies, and I won’t go to the doctor unless I absolutely have to. I also had no desire to quit smoking, but as soon as I had that positive pregnancy test, there was no looking back to that disgusting habit. So again, thank you. If it weren’t for the monthly check-ups since being pregnant with you, I never would have found these abnormal cells until it was too late for treatment. You have saved my life, sweet baby boy. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
We are going to have such an amazing family growing more and more in love in our home in Tennessee. I promise you that I will be the best mother that I can be to you. You deserve the world, and you are my world now.
I am so thankful that you are a sweet, baby boy. I really am. I hope you will always remember that and when you look back, you realize that you are so loved.
You’re going to be such a Momma’s boy, too.
P.S. You have the cutest little, button-nose.
Until next time, baby turtle.
I love you, sweet baby boy.